Technology Dance Session 17

The Wedding Dance — Written by Kenneth H. Westgate Jr © The Technology Dance Session 17

It was the summer of 1987. A beautiful warm Saturday in Southern New Jersey. We arrived at the church just before 2:15 pm with the Wedding scheduled to start around 3:00 pm. Our four kids were very tired as we arrived. It had been a little over a three hour ride for them. As we got out of the car, my wife, Kim, fixed our girls flower girl dresses, since they were part of the wedding party for Kim’s niece Doreen’s wedding. The girls were nervous. They hadn’t been part of the wedding rehearsal the evening before, so they weren’t sure what they were going to have to do. Kim took them inside the church while I stayed with our twin boys outside in the shade of some very large Maple trees along the sidewalk. The boys were curious, this being their first wedding, but not that curious as they nervously tugged at their ties, and shuffled their new shoes back and forth on the sidewalk, enjoying the sound of new shoe leather on the pavement. We waited to see if Kim and the girls were going to come back out or not, and after about 10 minutes decided they were probably tied up going over things with the rest of the bridal party. We decided to take a quick walk around the block to get a better look at the church and its campus buildings. It would give the boys a chance to burn off a little energy before having to sit through a relatively long wedding service with a Mass, and then drive about a half hour to the reception hall at a country club. The groom’s party began arriving as we reached the back parking lot of the church and hastily entered the church with the service start now only about half hour away.

The boys were impressed by the very large size of the church, not quite as big as the 5,000 plus member size of the church we were now attending but big enough. Quite Gothic in Architecture with amazing stained glass windows. As we walked around the block and past the rectory and convent, we noticed the priest conducting the wedding leaving the rectory, and a few of the sisters leaving the convent to attend as well. It was time for the boys and I to head back to the church entrance, and see how Kim and the girls were getting along. Kim was chatting with her cousin Jill. Amy and Janna looked puzzled and nervous as they waited with their baskets of rose petals to slowly drop as they walked down the aisle before the bridal party. The organist was playing some lovely prelude music as other guests and family members continued to file into the church. The boys and I looked for an open pew. When we found one, I sent Nick back to tell Kim where we were sitting so she could join us after she collected the girls when they had finished their walk down the aisle. The organist paused briefly to change music sheets as he prepared for the wedding entrance music. Once the music started and the congregation rose to await the bridal party’s entrance, the boys and I looked for the girls to come down the aisle. They were walking side by side and slowly dropping handfuls of roses as they processed. They were smiling now, probably something they were told to do, I don’t think it was really spontaneous, but they were doing a really good job.

When they reached the end of the long aisle, they each turned to the side of the front row where they were processing, and walked to the end of the row, and then back up the outside aisle to the back of the church again, while the rest of the bridal party processed in. They met Kim in the back of the church and she walked them to where the boys and I had saved seats for them. By the time that happened, the bride and her dad were about half-way down the aisle toward the steps to the altar area. The groom and his groomsmen were standing tall and smiling as Doreen and her dad Charles (Chick) arrived in front of the priest.

The wedding and mass followed according to schedule. The boys and girls had never been to a mass before so they were fascinated by all of it, even though as Protestant’s we were not allowed to participate in the actual Eucharistic celebration. The boys were old enough to understand that it was similar to the communion services we attended, but since they had never taken communion before there was still a lot of mystery to it all. The girls were just focused on the bride and how beautiful she looked and how handsome the groom looked. There were a few other second cousins around as well and some of them were nearly the same ages as our children. Doreen’s oldest married sister, Robin had three children of her own. The middle sister, Janice, also married, not to much before Doreen, didn’t have any children yet. When the wedding ended the bridal party stayed behind for photos while those of us heading to the reception got in our cars and drove to the reception at a country club about a half hour from the church. This was back in the days before there was no GPS available so the bride and groom had provided a map to get to the country club for those of us who were from outside the area. Kim was my navigator as we drove to the country club. When we arrived we all needed a stretch after sitting through the service and then the drive to the country club, so we walked around outside a bit, checking out the golf driving range and practice putting area, while watching numerous passing golf carts on their way to the course. It was still quite warm out so we finally decided to head in to the nice air conditioned club house. Before entering the dinning area, all guests were to have their photos taken at an area setup just for that in the lobby of the club house. The boys were not happy about that because they really wanted to take off their coats and ties and just relax a bit before the dinner. I fixed their ties and made sure their hair was combed while Kim helped fix the girl’s bows on their dresses, and brushed their hair. The professional photographer took about six photos of us, some with just the children and some with just the adults and then some with the whole family. Since the guest list was substantial the whole photo shoot probably ran about an hour and a half. The wedding party arrived about five minutes after the photographer finished and the party had to stop for their photos at the country club as well. When that was done and all the guests were seated at tables, the wedding party was announced as they entered.

Our guest table was near to Robin’s family so our kids could spend some time together since both groups were definitely the youngest individuals at the reception. All of the kids were hungry and getting pretty cranked up. They hadn’t eaten since breakfast which was now nearly 8 hours prior. Fortunately the dinner was served promptly after the wedding party was seated, and the kids chowed down like a bunch of Velociraptors devouring a Brontosaurus. After eating so much, even waiting for the wedding cake to be cut and served, they all seemed to just veg out a bit. The Bride and Groom went about the room greeting guests while the wedding cake was being brought out. The DJ began playing some music and the dance floor was cleared of some of the server tray tables.

Most of the guests finished eating their cake before moving to the dance floor, but the bride and groom had to dance first with each other and then with their parents after cutting the wedding cake, so they didn’t get to eat theirs until they had finished their dances. After the bride and groom sat down to eat their cake the dance floor began to be filled with guests. The early dance music was what my kids would have called, “old-fashioned”, slow waltz and fox trot type music. As some of the younger couples and singles joined the dance floor the DJ cranked up the music, first with some classic rock, and then with some newer contemporary rock music. The music also included some country line dancing and disco style as well. Pretty soon the younger crowd had taken over the dance floor and the older guests began to drift back to their tables. The bride and groom being young themselves joined in with the faster more active dances. After about an hour of this rigorous dancing the bride and groom sat down as did many of the younger guests and the DJ brought back some slow dancing music for the older guests that still remained. My kids and Robin’s kids had joined in some of the rock music dances, and had decided to run outside as well, so I had to chase them all and herd them back into the reception hall. There was more cake available so they chowed down on that.

Meanwhile, through all of this my wife had been eyeing the dance floor, especially when the slow dance music was playing. With the kids settled for the moment, I decided to ask her if she wanted to dance. She definitely did, so we moved to the dance floor and fortunately the music was a waltz tempo and easy to start with. Kim didn’t feel very confident on the dance floor, so I took my time and didn’t rush through the dance steps. The next two dances were more fox trot tempo, and allowed for a little more quicker steps. The DJ announced that there would be one more slow dance for anyone who wanted to join the bride and groom and their parents before the bride and groom would be sent off for the evening and the reception closed. Since Kim and I were already on the dance floor and were relatives of the bride we decided just to stay on the floor and finish the dance. It was a slow tempo waltz and it allowed Kim and I to do some close dancing along with the other couples on the floor. We hadn’t done this since the last wedding we attended about two years before so, it was nice to do it again.

When the dance ended we walked hand in hand back to the table where our kids were exhausted now and ready to go home. I had to hunt for the boys ties and found them under the table since they had taken off their coats and ties and tossed them aside when they went to the dance floor. We collected everyone, said goodbye to the nieces and aunts and uncles and then headed for the car and the long ride home. The bride and groom had already left for their honeymoon. I was glad they had served coffee after dinner because I would need it for the drive.

As we drove home, with the kids fast asleep in the back seat of the station wagon, my wife and I talked softly about how we didn’t have dancing at our wedding and she had wished that we had. Unfortunately our reception was held at a local restaurant in Lehighton, which was very nice and served a wonderful buffet meal, but didn’t have room for a dance floor in the group dining area we had reserved. While Kim an I didn’t dance much at all while dating, we did enjoy the opportunity to dance at weddings, of which we had had several since getting married ourselves. Most of those were family members along with a couple of friends as well. Since I had taken formal ballroom dancing lessons it was easier for me to feel comfortable on the dance floor than Kim, but she loved having the opportunity to slow dance with me, even if she felt awkward. I loved having her dance with me as well. Looking back now, I realized that our children never really had the opportunity to do much dancing. With the exception of one of our son’s weddings, there weren’t dances at our other son’s wedding, and only at two of my siblings weddings as well. There weren’t even a lot of dances at our nieces and nephews weddings or my one sisters multiple weddings. I wasn’t even sure that any of my kids ever went to any parties where there was dancing growing up. I actually never really asked them about it. Dancing seemed to always be a part of any parties I went to as a teen and during my college and graduate school years along with the Friday and Saturday night dances at the local YMCA.

As I drove on, I thought about how important learning to dance had been for me and had it not been for my mother’s own passion for dance I might never have learned. I had learned the following from my dance lessons:

1. Girls weren’t as terrifying as I thought when I was young, and were sometimes fun to be with. Later as I got older they were really fun to be with.

2. Learning to follow a pattern of steps, timing, balance and posture helped me with my athletics especially fencing and even to some extent in basketball and track.

3. Getting dressed in a coat and tie for dances was actually pretty cool, especially as I got older and could pick out my own outfits. I think the freedom of choice not only in dress but what dances I wanted to go to helped me enjoy them even more.

4. Practicing dance, just like practicing any skill took time and patience and learning from mistakes.

5. I always loved music and learning that you could actually dance to it was a lesson learned from my paternal grandmother who started dancing with me when I was just 2 and a half years old while we listened to music on the record player or radio.

6. Being passionate about dance is just another example of how you can be passionate about something you can grow to love in life.

7. Age or physical ability is not really a barrier to enjoying dance. I watched people older than me enjoy it thoroughly even into their 90’s. Now in my late 70’s I still enjoy it. I danced with individuals as partners who were amputees or in wheelchairs and watched blind and deaf clients dance when I worked as a rehabilitation counselor.

8. Moving our body is good for our health, and doing it rhythmically is good for our body, mind, soul, and spirit.

9. I am a strong supporter of liturgical dance for worship, because King David danced to worship and dancing was a part of Jewish weddings in Jesus day, and my guess is that he danced at the wedding in Cana. Square Dancing was also a part of the annual church summer retreats at the church I attended for many years.

10. Dancing at family events such as weddings, birthdays, reunions, etc. (which was a part of many of these occasions in my life) was essential to relationship building, as it was for me as a teenager, at the local dances at the YMCA.

How does this all related to technology use in Education in the 21st Century:

Using my list of ten things above I think it applies as follows:

1. Technology use in the classroom can sometimes seem distracting and overwhelming, but for today’s generation of students it is a common tool and needs to be utilized in a way that helps them understand its power to enhance their learning experiences, not just as am avenue for entertainment. When teachers feel comfortable with it, the students will as well and teachers can help them explore new learning opportunities using those tools.

2. Learning the patterns that exist in all operating systems and software given the way digital devices can input and output data helps our students understand more about the tools they are using. It also helps them understand the limitations of the tools. Beginning to teach basic understanding of coding for digital devices when children can recognize letters, numbers, and symbols, will enable them to understand how these devices really work. I started all four of my children on computers when they could recognize numbers, letters, and symbols used on the keyboard which for all of the was at age 3.

3. Giving students a choice in what they are using their devices for can be both slightly uncomfortable for us as teachers and an important learning opportunity for our students. Teaching them how to make good choices is just as important than the individual choices they make. Also helping them learn how to take care of the devices that they are using will help children be able to use the longer. It is like taking care of a good suit or dress and a good pair of shoes. The better you care for them the longer they last. My mother’s tap dance shoes and tap mat lasted over 80 years.

As teachers we should demonstrate good care of digital equipment for our students, and help them to understand how proper handling will keep their devices functioning longer.

4. Learning to use new technology is like learning any other skill, you have to practice it and learn from your mistakes. Today there is a tremendous volume of help information available online for both teachers and students to learn when they are struggling with a concept or struggling to learn how to use a digital device. As teachers we can model this for our students as well. We also need to make sure we are teaching them that mistakes or failures are learning opportunities not something that is indicative of a flawed character trait.

5. One of the wonderful uses of most digital devices today is the ability to access music of all kinds. It is a wonderful tool to help children learn about the music of different countries and cultures around the world as well as learning about the shared enjoyment of music made all around the world. It can broaden their horizons. It can also be used to sooth and calm students who are struggling with stress and anxiety when in a learning environment. Many research studies have also shown that listening to classical music while reading or learning independently can help our brains process the information more effectively. Many children aren’t exposed to classical music these days, but it can be a very important exposure to consider. Learning to follow the rhythms in the music is good for physical education as well. Also helping the children enjoy singing or playing an instrument has also been shown to improve academic performance.

6. Being passionate about any interest or activity in our life increases our enjoyment of that activity. As teachers we are hoping that our students will become passionate about things they are learning that they may later on use for their enjoyment and perhaps for helping others. The technology we have today, enables us to help our students explore and find wonder and awe in their world around them. It also helps them to understand the challenges we face and gives them opportunities to consider how they can help even when they are young. Some of the most striking achievements in meeting the challenges in our world today have been made by young students and teenagers. It was a passion that drove them to spend the time and energy to achieve these things, and many of them used existing technologies to help them learn more about what they were passionate about and develop the products or services they invented.

7.We should recognize that technology is not limited by age or ability. Many technology advances have been the result of helping find ways for persons with a variety of physical and mental challenges to use technology tools to enable and enhance their lives. My first exposure to this came as a Rehabilitation counselor working with my clients and teaching them how to use computers, robots, augmented speech technologies, speech recognition, and a host of other developing technologies in the 1970’s and 80’s. Those same tools are available to children with physical and mental challenges today and are much improved and much better able to meet the needs of these students. As teachers we should be advocating for the effective use of these tools for our students with special needs.

8. Today’s technology provides a vast array of healthy living information, including exercise, diet and nutrition, as well as other health information. There is a substantial volume of exercise videos and routines that are available as brain breaks or Physical Education lesson activities for individuals of all ages. Using these tools, especially during the winter months when outdoor activity may be more limited can be an important tool in helping our students brains remain alert and ready to learn. Especially our young children who need more activity during these early growth years.

9. One of the things I have tried to share with students at St. Theresa’s school over the years has been to introduce them to liturgical dance. I have shown them a wide range of videos via the Internet that demonstrate liturgical dance in many forms around the world. It is important to remember that there is more to worship than just sitting quietly in a pew. The history of our Judeo-Christian Tradition includes liturgical dance. With young children music and dance help them learn simple Biblical truths and can be important in building a foundation for their growth in faith.

10. Partnered dance is really all about relationship. Relationship to each other, relationship to the music, and relationship to the environment we are dancing in. Teaching is also about those relationships as well. Relationships between students and teacher, relationships student to student, relationships to the content they are learning, and relationship to the classroom and school environment they are in. Technology is often seen as an individual learning tool, but it can be used effectively with students as whole group or even small group instruction. Sharing devices for partnered learning is also a good way for students to use these tool. The Promethean Boards we have make for excellent who group instruction, but can be used for small group instruction as well since the boards can be divided into learning areas with different activities in each area. We want to build strong and lasting relationships for our students not just while they are in school but hopefully they will carry the beginning lessons we teach them throughout their learning experiences and into their adult lives. Teaching them the tools to effective social relationships is a critical part of what we do each day in the classroom.